A couple of weeks ago I asked you all to share your stories with me. Thank you all so much for letting me in to your lives a little bit. I’ve shared A LOT about us, but today, I’m going to tell you our story.
Eric and I met in 7th grade wood shop class. He built my wooden car and would try to get me to go out with him multiple times a week. I was focused on school and horses, so I never paid him any attention. Eric left for JobCorp by the time I was showing any interest in boys. My senior year in high school, I fell in love. From that relationship came my beautiful daughter. While I was pregnant, and the relationship I was in was ending, Eric was on his 2nd deployment with the Army. Reaghens dad and I knew that our relationship was better as friends, and I still consider him one of the people I know I can count on. Eric and I reconnected when Reaghen was about 4 months old. We started dating in January of 2011, and got married in July of the same year. By April, we were welcoming our son, Barrett.
We decided after we had Barrett that we were done having children. Fast forward to 2017, we experienced our first miscarriage. It was very early in the pregnancy, so early that we never really knew how far along I was. We started taking preventive measures, but experienced another miscarriage in early 2018. It didn’t impact us the way that it would now, because we weren’t truly prepared to add to our family. On January 7th, 2019 I took a pregnancy test. This came after taking my sister-in-law to the airport, and her commenting on how I was using the bathroom a lot and my bout of car sickness was weird (🤣I always think its funny that it took someone else mentioning something was weird for me to notice). We confirmed the pregnancy on February 6th with an ultrasound. We were over the moon. We immediately began preparing for baby. We used a private ultrasound company to get a more in depth look at baby, and I am so grateful for that! We found out at 10 weeks that we were having a boy! (Isn’t technology great?) We made it past the 12 week mark and felt a huge sigh of relief. We were ACTUALLY having a baby. We announced to our friends and began thinking of a name for our baby boy. We went on vacation in April, and came back ready to find a new home for our growing family.
We set an appointment with our doctor for May 10th, at 22 weeks gestation to get our anatomy scan. Eric got off work early, because we had an appointment after to see a few houses our realtor had found. When we got into the ultrasound room, we laughed and joked with the tech about how crazy it is that you can find out the gender so early now days. I got comfortable and the gel was put on my growing belly. As soon as the wand was placed, the techs face fell. She simply said… “I am so sorry.” I immediately knew that he was gone. I looked at Eric and told him to get my mom there right now. There is something about tragedy that makes a girl want her momma. It took Eric a minute to figure out what was going on. To spare the details that we aren’t ready to share, here’s the short version… we were sent to labor and delivery to be induced at about noon. At 11:55 our son entered the world. He was perfect, and looked exactly like his big brother. I have pictured from that day, that I am forever grateful for. They are now all I have left from a day I will never forget. We were able to snuggle our son and give him all the love that we had.
After the loss of our son, we purchased a bigger home and brought all three of our children to our forever home. Having Bransen here brings a sense of peace. We have his ashes on a shelf specifically designed for him, that sits in our living room. This helps us make sure that he is included in all of our holidays and celebrations. We celebrate his birthday, and will continue to do so, with a butterfly release in our backyard. For now, we are content with our two living children, and our angel baby. We have a house full of love, laughter and joy. I hope that someday we can add another child to this craziness, but until then we will enjoy this life we’ve been blessed with.
I encourage each of you to write your story out. Don’t share it if you’re uncomfortable, but write your thoughts down. Do it often. This will allow you to see your growth and reflect on the feelings that you’ve worked through. If you feel like sharing, please do! Taboo subjects don’t go away unless we take away the discomfort attached.
As always,
Stay strong mommas ❤
Xoxo
Becca
Momma Tribe 